1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:02,039 Can I cancel the subscription? 2 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:05,040 Actually, he's dead. I've got to go. Can I take it that it's cancelled? Thank you. 3 00:00:07,200 --> 00:00:10,159 I'm the Minister for fucking Social Affairs. Hugh Abbot. 4 00:00:10,160 --> 00:00:13,160 Could you explain to these people I'm the reason why they're here? 5 00:00:14,440 --> 00:00:16,919 Sorry about that. Amazing place. 6 00:00:16,920 --> 00:00:18,559 Welcome back. Thank you. 7 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,559 It's ironic, we're both back on the same day. 8 00:00:21,560 --> 00:00:24,560 Although your reasons for being away were more important than mine. 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:27,599 - Just a frivolous holiday. - No, no... 10 00:00:27,600 --> 00:00:30,600 It was fantastic, though. Italy. You can't go wrong with Italy. 11 00:00:30,640 --> 00:00:33,640 - But how are you? - Really upset and sad about it. 12 00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:37,600 - That your father had died. - My father had died. 13 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:40,319 Anyway... erm... 14 00:00:40,320 --> 00:00:42,079 - Shall we...? - We're upstairs. 15 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,199 .. get a bit ofa wiggle on. Yes. 16 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:47,200 - So, this is like a sort ofgoverning mall. - There's actually quite a few problems here. 17 00:00:49,280 --> 00:00:52,280 - The e-mail system isn't working. - Oh. 18 00:00:52,920 --> 00:00:55,920 - And the intelligent ventilation... - Intelligent ventilation? 19 00:00:57,080 --> 00:01:00,080 What we've got is a wind tunnel up in the Asylum Directorate. 20 00:01:00,440 --> 00:01:02,679 Don't let any ofthose out as Diary stories. 21 00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,680 - This is us. - Right. A bit too light and airy for my liking. 22 00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:08,599 Ooh... and these are awful. 23 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,600 Do we have to have those? They look like Alicia's Barbie furniture. 24 00:01:12,080 --> 00:01:15,080 - Do you think they match? - Not ifyou wear that dress. 25 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:18,160 One ofthem's going to have to go and I'd rather it was the sofas. 26 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,839 - Is this us? - Yes, this is actually you. 27 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:23,840 - Isn't that David Dickinson? - Ooh, nice tan! 28 00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:27,600 I can't take all the credit, the sun did the work. 29 00:01:28,400 --> 00:01:31,400 - There's not much privacy. - It doesn't matter. We're moving upstairs. 30 00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:35,960 - It's going to be hard to shoot up in there. - Yeah, yeah, that's true. 31 00:01:37,720 --> 00:01:40,720 - This is so poky. - We're not here long enough for it to matter. 32 00:01:41,160 --> 00:01:42,759 It might interest you. 33 00:01:42,760 --> 00:01:45,760 The date for your appearance before the Education Select Committee. 34 00:01:46,920 --> 00:01:48,839 - It's tomorrow. - Oh, great! 35 00:01:48,840 --> 00:01:51,159 Oh, that is great. Yes, welcome home, Hugh. 36 00:01:51,160 --> 00:01:53,159 Couldn't you have pushed it back a week? 37 00:01:53,160 --> 00:01:55,879 Given me something cushy for my first week back? 38 00:01:55,880 --> 00:01:58,719 A couple oflunches or a fact finder to Dublin? 39 00:01:58,720 --> 00:02:01,720 - That's the date they gave me. - You can't change Select Committee dates. 40 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,400 Oh, can't you? How did Liam get his changed so he could go to the Test match? 41 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:09,120 It's going to be like sitting on a crate having chicken shit sprayed over me. 42 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:13,040 I mean, why do we want to close down schools for kids with special needs? 43 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:17,040 It's the one thing that I really, really, actually do not want to do. 44 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,000 And yet, bizarrely, I am the person most intimately involved in doing it. 45 00:02:23,160 --> 00:02:26,039 Robyn, go and see IT about the e-mail problem. 46 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,519 Please. That'd be great. 47 00:02:28,520 --> 00:02:31,520 So now Terri's back, I just get all the dull stuff. Is that right? 48 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:34,960 - Pretty much, yes. - Oh, well, right. Yeah, well, ofcourse. 49 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,399 Well, I'll see you later. 50 00:02:38,400 --> 00:02:41,400 Glenn, the Special Needs Bill. With your, you know, particular interest, I can't do this. 51 00:02:44,680 --> 00:02:47,680 You know my views. Inclusion is an illusion. It doesn't work. 52 00:02:48,920 --> 00:02:51,719 - But you don't mind ifI go with it? - Ofcourse not. 53 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,720 You know, look, you're only following orders. 54 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,160 So you won't make me feel bad except by comparing me to a concentration camp guard? 55 00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:00,799 Right. 56 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,800 Now, tomorrow. Select Committee, that's Ballentine, isn't it? 57 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:08,440 - Who wants to go and watch bollockvision? - Bollockvision? 58 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:11,640 Mr Malcolm Tucker, turning it all the way up to eleven, down in the lobby. 59 00:03:12,480 --> 00:03:15,480 Poor Keith! 60 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:17,599 You should have discussed it. 61 00:03:17,600 --> 00:03:20,559 Malcolm must love this. Four ministers in one building. 62 00:03:20,560 --> 00:03:23,199 It's his dream. A one-stop bollock-shop. 63 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,200 Trouble is, we're going to be getting some ofthat in about an hour. 64 00:03:26,880 --> 00:03:29,880 Which is worse? Watching him rumble towards you like prostate cancer, 65 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:33,520 or him appearing suddenly out ofnowhere, like a severe stroke. 66 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,960 Oh... How's your sister coping? 67 00:03:39,880 --> 00:03:42,880 So, Hugh, this new word, "Citizenship". Did the PM actually outline what it entails? 68 00:03:44,760 --> 00:03:47,760 To be honest, I think he was making the reshuffle up as he went along. 69 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,320 We were lucky that citizenship was the first word that sprang to mind. 70 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:55,000 We could be in the Department for Social Affairs and Woodland Folk. 71 00:03:55,280 --> 00:03:58,280 The problem is, though, Hugh, that there's been a bit ofa rush, with you not in place, 72 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:02,640 every department trying to unload all the stuffthat they didn't want. 73 00:04:03,800 --> 00:04:06,800 It's been like somebody driving a lorry down Whitehall, 74 00:04:06,840 --> 00:04:09,840 shouting, "Bring out your shit", and it's ended up at our door. 75 00:04:10,320 --> 00:04:11,439 So what are we getting? 76 00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:14,440 Citizenship basically involves cutting pensions to the Ghurkhas, 77 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:18,439 rejigging the protocols for a rabies outbreak, 78 00:04:18,440 --> 00:04:21,440 some crap from Health about long-term care for the elderly, 79 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:25,039 that neither they nor we have any idea about. 80 00:04:25,040 --> 00:04:27,159 And what to do with the Isle ofMan. 81 00:04:27,160 --> 00:04:30,160 Just what I fucking need. Five new ways to lose my job. 82 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:34,119 Where did that come from? 83 00:04:34,120 --> 00:04:37,120 - Oh, Malcolm sent that. - It's far too big. Why did he send it? 84 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,559 Office warming present. 85 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,119 - So why did he send us a present? - I don't know. 86 00:04:42,120 --> 00:04:45,120 - Has Security checked this? - What for? Tiny little terrorists? 87 00:04:45,760 --> 00:04:48,639 - Yes. - It's a plant. Yes? 88 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:50,679 So... citizenshit. 89 00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:53,680 What we need is some nice, touchy-feely, fondley, sneaky, hand-in-the-bra policies. 90 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:59,200 New bicycles for special constables, that sort ofthing? 91 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,400 - Yeah. - Making special needs kids clean up graffiti. 92 00:05:03,120 --> 00:05:04,999 That's just very mean. 93 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,000 Well, yes. Not, ofcourse, as mean as making them spell graffiti. That genuinely is mean. 94 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:12,679 - I'll go and have a word with Malcolm. - OK. 95 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:15,279 You just took a shit with your clothes on, Olly. 96 00:05:15,280 --> 00:05:17,359 - Why? - Glenn's boy, Peter. 97 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:20,360 He went to a special needs school. 98 00:05:20,840 --> 00:05:22,239 Oh. 99 00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,079 Yep. 100 00:05:25,080 --> 00:05:28,080 - Glenn's had sex. - God, you're such a prick, Olly. 101 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:32,760 There's more to life than drinks at the Foreign Office 102 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:35,559 and Nick Robinson's number on your Blackberry. 103 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:37,599 All right, fine. Sorry, Hugh. 104 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,600 I feel for the guy. I had a girlfriend with special needs once, so I know. 105 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:44,679 Luckily, I was able to fulfil them. 106 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:46,999 Oh, God, you're such a... 107 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:49,799 - Haircut? - Chemo. Nob. 108 00:05:49,800 --> 00:05:52,199 - So, did you enjoy the show? - Magnificent, darling. 109 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,200 Should I phone Keith, so I can get his team to watch you bollock me now? 110 00:05:56,040 --> 00:05:58,159 No, no. Have I got my bollocking face on? 111 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:01,160 - Well... - No, this is my bollocking face. 112 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:04,280 Oh, crikey, yes. Thanks for the pot plant, by the way. 113 00:06:04,680 --> 00:06:07,319 - Did I send that? - As an office warming present. 114 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,759 Christ, she's a great PA, isn't she, Sam? 115 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:12,760 - Yes. - She always remembers the little people. 116 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,800 Look at the size ofthat. You could crucify somebody on that. 117 00:06:15,960 --> 00:06:18,639 So, what do you think ofthe new building, eh? 118 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,039 I can't wait to move upstairs, actually. 119 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:24,040 I don't like the glass walls on this floor. I just feel a bit exposed. 120 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:27,479 Like a whore in a Reeperbahn window. 121 00:06:27,480 --> 00:06:30,480 Glenn, it's Olly. He wants you to go through and clarify the Citizenship brief. 122 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:35,720 - How much, love? - Sorry? 123 00:06:36,280 --> 00:06:38,759 - OK, I'm on it. - I'll catch you later. 124 00:06:38,760 --> 00:06:41,760 I like the tan, by the way. Have you declared it? 125 00:06:42,280 --> 00:06:45,280 - Staying at the villa ofan influential friend. - I haven't got any influential friends. 126 00:06:47,040 --> 00:06:50,040 - You are my only influential friend. - And I'm not really your friend. 127 00:06:50,280 --> 00:06:51,639 And you're not really my friend. 128 00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:54,640 - So, this Super Schools Bill... - Yep. 129 00:06:55,400 --> 00:06:57,999 You don't think it's so super, do you? 130 00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:01,000 - You're doing it now. - What? 131 00:07:01,040 --> 00:07:03,039 That's your bollocking face. 132 00:07:03,040 --> 00:07:06,040 You know, it's great that you get all misty eyed over Glenn's kid. 133 00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:09,880 But no one's trying to fuck over special needs kids. 134 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:12,799 R... Really? 135 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:15,800 Before I went away, I consulted an expert, Mark Ryan. 136 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:19,240 The LSE education guy? And what did that sandal-wearing nonce have to say? 137 00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:23,399 Closing down special needs schools 138 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:26,400 and putting needy kids into mainstream education is a lousy idea. 139 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,960 - I've got an expert who will deny that. - SEN parents want the schools kept open. 140 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,640 Yeah, well, my expert would totally oppose that. 141 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,280 - Who is your expert? - No idea, but I can get one by this afternoon. 142 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:42,760 You have spoken to the wrong expert. You've got to ask the right expert. 143 00:07:44,600 --> 00:07:47,600 You've got to know what an expert's going to advise before he advises. 144 00:07:48,080 --> 00:07:51,080 Hugh, whether you like this or not, you are going to have to promote this Bill. 145 00:07:52,560 --> 00:07:55,560 So what I'm going to do is, I'm going to get you another expert. 146 00:07:55,800 --> 00:07:57,799 OK. 147 00:07:57,800 --> 00:08:00,439 But surely, Mr Smedley, 148 00:08:00,440 --> 00:08:03,440 inclusion has been shown to fail the most vulnerable SEN children. 149 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:07,320 When inclusion's done badly, yes. Yes, you get bad results. That's a given. 150 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:10,959 Inclusion is an illusion. 151 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,960 Mark Ryan from the LSE was saying that when the special schools do get it right, 152 00:08:16,080 --> 00:08:19,080 that the parents ofSEN children absolutely fucking flock to... 153 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,000 - You spoke to Mark Ryan? - Yeah, well, some expert advice. 154 00:08:23,360 --> 00:08:26,319 - Expert advice from Mark Ryan? - Yeah. 155 00:08:26,320 --> 00:08:29,320 - You have a problem with Ryan? - In educational circles, he's a joke. 156 00:08:29,880 --> 00:08:31,879 - That's another given. - Is it? 157 00:08:31,880 --> 00:08:34,359 Ah, sorry. 158 00:08:34,360 --> 00:08:37,360 It's just that I'm expecting something quite important. 159 00:08:37,840 --> 00:08:40,840 - Is our e-mail up and running? - No. No, no, this is my hotmail. 160 00:08:42,120 --> 00:08:45,120 Sorry, can you excuse me just erm... 161 00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:51,559 We live in an inclusive society. 162 00:08:51,560 --> 00:08:54,560 - We all rub shoulders together, Mr Cullen? - Indeed. 163 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:57,960 - Let's not let the Ryans ofthis world create... - Sorry? 164 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:02,320 .. apartheid for children. The alternative is to isolate these kids in ghetto schools. 165 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:06,319 The minister won't be a moment. 166 00:09:06,320 --> 00:09:08,759 Good spot for a suicide, I would think. 167 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:11,079 Good long drop, appreciative audience. 168 00:09:11,080 --> 00:09:13,519 What ifyou just broke your back? 169 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,479 It'd leave you paralysed for life, 170 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:18,480 and you'd still be depressed about the thing that was depressing you. 171 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:22,320 - What are these hangy-down things? - Acoustic baffles. 172 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:24,839 They stop it getting too echoey. 173 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:27,840 So when you break your back, nobody can hear you screaming. 174 00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:31,000 Well, that is the kind ofattention to detail that you get in a PFI building. 175 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:36,040 Hey! Get back to work, all ofyou! 176 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:40,960 Right, I'm offto Number Ten for this Cabinet summit with the PM and Education, 177 00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:44,359 try and swing this Bill around. 178 00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:47,199 Now, ifit drags on can you phone my home and tell Kate? 179 00:09:47,200 --> 00:09:50,200 She doesn't watch rolling news because she's a normal human being. 180 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,319 Yes, massah, I's a good slave! 181 00:09:54,320 --> 00:09:57,320 - Can I say, that manner... - Something catastrophic has happened! 182 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,919 Whoa! What's going on? 183 00:09:59,920 --> 00:10:02,920 I've just had a phone call from a man. He's got a child, he lives in Reigate. 184 00:10:04,240 --> 00:10:07,240 This child, she is called Glenn, after Glenn Close, and her surname is Cullen. 185 00:10:09,880 --> 00:10:12,079 She's Glenn Cullen. 186 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:15,080 And this morning, apparently, in her in... 187 00:10:15,960 --> 00:10:18,960 In the e-mail tray, she got a note, 188 00:10:19,480 --> 00:10:21,719 and it used these words. "Christ", 189 00:10:21,720 --> 00:10:23,599 and "cunt". 190 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,239 And apparently I sent it. 191 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,240 - No! - Anybody could use that computer. 192 00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:31,560 - Hugh, Glenn says can you head over? - Yes, I must, I must... 193 00:10:32,600 --> 00:10:35,600 Olly was using it. Olly was using it earlier. 194 00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:38,760 Did you send an e-mail, Olly, about me, calling me a cunt? 195 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,400 No. No, I never use that word, let alone about you. No. Absolutely. 196 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:45,839 I won't use it until it's been fully normalised 197 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,840 and has no further association with the female twat. 198 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,639 - It was you! - We'll get to the bottom ofthis. 199 00:10:51,640 --> 00:10:54,640 I've got to go offto Number Ten, but I absolutely give you my word. 200 00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:56,519 Look. 201 00:10:56,520 --> 00:10:58,679 Hugh... 202 00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,680 No, I didn't get any e-mail about Roy Smedley. Was it funny? 203 00:11:02,640 --> 00:11:05,640 Kind of. It was a bit sweary. 204 00:11:05,680 --> 00:11:07,639 At least he's served his purpose. 205 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:10,359 We've now got some very useful material to trot out 206 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:13,360 in case My Bloody Ballentine wants to know 207 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:16,960 why you've done a U-turn in favour ofinclusion. 208 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,359 But I haven't. 209 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:21,360 I'm going to take a fucking stand. I'm buggered ifI let you down now. 210 00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:24,840 I'm going to go in to the PM and tell him straight up, this bill is bollocks. 211 00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:28,800 - No, you're not. - No, I'm not, but it would be great ifI did. 212 00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:33,680 - Another little bit ofmy soul chipped away. - Don't worry about it. 213 00:11:39,520 --> 00:11:42,520 Hugh, the Guardian web site has broken the e-mail thing. 214 00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,240 In the final edition, here, ofthe Standard 215 00:11:46,440 --> 00:11:48,959 I am suddenly a major news story. 216 00:11:48,960 --> 00:11:50,999 Sweary Woman OfWhitehall. 217 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:54,000 Sweary Woman OfWhitehall. A pun. It's not really punning on anything, is it? 218 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:58,040 How do you appear out ofnowhere in a building made ofglass? 219 00:11:58,480 --> 00:12:01,480 I'm a shape shifter. I don't need this, get this fucking sorted. 220 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:04,639 What is wrong with you? Having a nervous breakdown? 221 00:12:04,640 --> 00:12:07,639 Get on top ofit, OK? You will see me again. 222 00:12:07,640 --> 00:12:10,519 I don't want this, Hugh. I don't want to be the story. 223 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,520 The Sun are running a cartoon with you being arrested by a const-able. 224 00:12:16,320 --> 00:12:19,320 - Olly, don't be such a bastard. - Hey, whoa, turd tonsils. 225 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:22,520 That's quite enough ofthat, Olly. Just knock it off, OK. 226 00:12:23,480 --> 00:12:26,480 Terri, Terri, come with me. Come here. 227 00:12:26,920 --> 00:12:29,920 Just fucking act your age. We've had enough ofyour puerile influence. 228 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,399 Actually, I think I might have an idea about... 229 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:37,400 Just... just tell me, truthfully, 230 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:40,959 did you send that e-mail? 231 00:12:40,960 --> 00:12:43,960 No, I didn't. 232 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:48,480 And you know I didn't. 233 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:53,280 - What? I'm sorry? Are you inferring... - Implying. 234 00:12:55,480 --> 00:12:58,480 - You're implying that... it was me? - Hmm. 235 00:13:00,600 --> 00:13:03,600 I saw you, Hugh. I saw you do it. 236 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:16,959 It... it was for Glenn, for our Glenn. 237 00:13:16,960 --> 00:13:19,960 To amuse him when that prick man was in his office, and I just typed in the wrong address. 238 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:26,000 - It was a genuine mistake. - I didn't really see you. I was bluffing. 239 00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,280 That doesn't bode well for your Select Committee performance. 240 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,440 I knew you were bluffing. I admitted it because it's the right thing to do. 241 00:13:35,760 --> 00:13:38,760 Not because you'd caught me out. And I caught you out, 242 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,679 cos you lied about seeing me do it. 243 00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,719 So, how do you like them apples? 244 00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:46,720 - Are you going to admit to this publicly? - What? 245 00:13:47,120 --> 00:13:50,120 No! Are you mad? I can't do that. That mustn't happen. You've got... 246 00:13:51,480 --> 00:13:54,480 - I need you to... to... to... - What? To lie? 247 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,520 It was Derrida who said there is no such thing as empirical truth. 248 00:13:58,200 --> 00:14:01,200 I'll tell you what Derrida said. He said, "Go fuck your face, Abbot!" 249 00:14:02,280 --> 00:14:05,280 You need to mind your language. It will keep getting you into trouble. 250 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:08,239 I can't even get out ofthe fucking room! 251 00:14:08,240 --> 00:14:10,159 Excuse me. 252 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,160 Now to the meat ofthe Committee's interest. 253 00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,680 You've made quite a U-turn on SEN schools, have you not, Minister? 254 00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:19,919 Why have you sold out? 255 00:14:19,920 --> 00:14:22,919 Sold out? That's rather an emotive way ofputting it. 256 00:14:22,920 --> 00:14:25,920 But you are on record as having been in opposition to the policy ofinclusion. 257 00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:30,040 No, it's just that times have changed and I have reassessed the landscape. 258 00:14:32,680 --> 00:14:35,680 We now have the funding for academies which will have two behaviour support teachers. 259 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:42,080 - These Super Schools will offer skill clusters... - But we're not interested in that. 260 00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:46,800 What the Committee are curious about is how it is that you've changed your mind, 261 00:14:49,880 --> 00:14:52,879 given your opposition to these policies in the past. 262 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:55,880 - Did you seek specialist advice? - Well, naturally. I sought expert advice. 263 00:14:58,600 --> 00:15:00,279 Yes. Who? 264 00:15:00,280 --> 00:15:03,199 - Roy Smedley. - And? 265 00:15:03,200 --> 00:15:06,200 And... he was very good. 266 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:11,000 And his was the only advice you took? 267 00:15:11,520 --> 00:15:14,520 You saw only one expert? 268 00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:17,880 Yes. 269 00:15:19,080 --> 00:15:21,999 And you thought that was enough? Just one? 270 00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:25,000 - I tried to find somebody different. - And did you succeed? 271 00:15:25,800 --> 00:15:27,279 - No. - No one? 272 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,280 No. 273 00:15:30,680 --> 00:15:33,680 - How was that? - I lied to the Select Committee. I lied. 274 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,640 - Is Tucker in the building? - Malcolm In The Middle. 275 00:15:37,800 --> 00:15:40,800 It's what they're calling him. He can stand in the atrium and shout. 276 00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:44,360 I don't want to see him. I can't take one ofhis scenes from The Exorcist just now. 277 00:15:45,640 --> 00:15:48,519 - I don't think Ballentine's on to anything. - Oh, no? 278 00:15:48,520 --> 00:15:51,520 Well, why did she keep asking, "Just one expert? Only one? 279 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:55,760 "Less than three, but not two?" Fucking bitch! 280 00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:58,800 She's trying to throw you offbalance, like a Sumo wrestler. 281 00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:01,679 It worked. I was on the floor, in a fucking nappy. 282 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:03,839 Oh, shit, it's Malcolm. 283 00:16:03,840 --> 00:16:06,840 - A man in his 50s, hiding. - Look, he's gone. Hugh, come out. 284 00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:11,479 Get it in perspective. It's not a major lie. 285 00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:14,480 It's not like you were selling naval secrets down a gay club. 286 00:16:14,600 --> 00:16:17,600 - Why does he never laugh with me like that? - Lack ofclick? 287 00:16:18,480 --> 00:16:21,480 - I thought I was a professional press officer. - I don't know. 288 00:16:23,240 --> 00:16:24,799 It just is absolute hell. 289 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:27,079 - Hi. - Oh, hello. 290 00:16:27,080 --> 00:16:30,080 - How is the... - I'm actually in a bit ofa state here. 291 00:16:30,600 --> 00:16:31,639 Yeah. I know. 292 00:16:31,640 --> 00:16:34,239 Something cropped up that we need to talk about, 293 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,240 and then afterwards you can get on with whatever... You know. 294 00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,480 - Don't you think that I'm due a bit ofsupport? - Yes, I do, I do. Absolutely. 295 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,440 But my Committee thing is actually a bigger deal than your... sweary thing. 296 00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,320 So, you know... it just is. 297 00:16:48,960 --> 00:16:51,359 - Hi, Malcolm. - Were you hiding just now? 298 00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:52,759 No. 299 00:16:52,760 --> 00:16:55,760 Terri, you're giving a press conference in 90 minutes. You're going to apologise. 300 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,599 There's your statement. Learn it. 301 00:16:59,600 --> 00:17:02,039 Erm... I organise the press conferences. 302 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,199 - I don't give them, normally. - Oh, God! 303 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,200 As you're not used to this, I'll go through it for you. What happens is this. 304 00:17:08,400 --> 00:17:11,400 A bunch ofpress people appear. They have things called cameras and microphones, 305 00:17:12,600 --> 00:17:14,959 and mobile phones, hangovers and bad breath. 306 00:17:14,960 --> 00:17:17,960 Then you are going to walk out and read from what we call a prepared statement. 307 00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,919 In that, you will say, 308 00:17:21,920 --> 00:17:24,920 "I'm really fucking sorry for sounding like a hairy arsed docker after 12 pints. 309 00:17:26,840 --> 00:17:29,840 "I promise that I will never call an eight-year-old girl a cunt again. 310 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,520 "Can we now just draw a line over this and fucking move on? Thank you. " 311 00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:36,599 Everybody goes home and we see what happens. 312 00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,600 Best case is you keep your job, although you will be The Sweary Woman ofWhitehall. 313 00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,960 This first Mark Ryan meeting would be in the diary. 314 00:17:44,200 --> 00:17:47,200 Do you want us to see ifwe could post that down the memory hole? 315 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:50,359 - I mean, diaries do get lost, don't they? - Well, yes. 316 00:17:50,360 --> 00:17:53,360 - We've lost a few diaries in our time. - Well, erm... 317 00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,599 Listen, do it subtly. I don't want to know about it. 318 00:17:56,600 --> 00:17:58,879 - I mean, do it, but don't tell me. - OK. 319 00:17:58,880 --> 00:18:01,679 - Do I know? - Yeah. No. I don't know. 320 00:18:01,680 --> 00:18:04,239 - Do I? - Don't... You sort it out. 321 00:18:04,240 --> 00:18:05,639 Do I know? 322 00:18:05,640 --> 00:18:08,640 Sort it out but don't tell me because I don't want to know. 323 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:11,760 I don't think you quite get it. My life is in tatters. 324 00:18:11,800 --> 00:18:14,800 Nobody will speak to me at my daughter's school. Why should I lie for Hugh? 325 00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:19,280 Because it's your job to make him look good. 326 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,319 What kind ofa PR person are you, anyway? 327 00:18:22,320 --> 00:18:24,799 I mean, look. Hey, hey, hey, hey! 328 00:18:24,800 --> 00:18:27,599 Are you going to take a bad story and make it worse? 329 00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,639 You say, "Oh, hi there, everyone. 330 00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:32,640 "I know this looks bad, but wait till you hear this. 331 00:18:32,800 --> 00:18:35,800 "It was actually the Minister for Social Affairs and Citizenship who called a child a cunt. 332 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:39,919 "There you are, it is worse than we thought. " 333 00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:42,920 Ifyou were to go out there and tell the truth, 334 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:48,079 it would be morally repugnant. 335 00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:50,439 Because you would be condemning 336 00:18:50,440 --> 00:18:53,440 a guy who's doing his fucking best to try and make things better. 337 00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:57,959 You'd be condemning him to the scrapheap. 338 00:18:57,960 --> 00:19:00,319 Right... OK? 339 00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:02,679 - Yes. - Good girl. Get Robyn, she'll help you. 340 00:19:02,680 --> 00:19:05,359 Robyn, can you help her go over her lines? 341 00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:08,360 It was interesting, watching you talking about the truth, 342 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:11,600 because I had a similar problem today, funnily enough. 343 00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:13,479 Really? 344 00:19:13,480 --> 00:19:16,480 At the Committee, I didn't... Well, unwittingly, I didn't tell the entire truth. 345 00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:21,679 - You lied? To Claire Ballentine? - Yeah. 346 00:19:21,680 --> 00:19:23,199 Does she know? 347 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:26,200 - I don't think so. She couldn't possibly. - That doesn't matter, then. 348 00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:29,960 I lied to the Select Committee. It's like lying to the House. 349 00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:33,240 Yeah, I know. But ifshe doesn't know, then it doesn't matter, Hugh. 350 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:37,000 Excuse me, but I can't be fielding calls. I have got a lot oflines to learn. 351 00:19:37,960 --> 00:19:40,960 It's Ballentine's office. They want Departmental diaries from the last 12 weeks. 352 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,519 - Shit! - She's on to us, she must be. 353 00:19:44,520 --> 00:19:46,479 - Why else... - Have you got the diaries? 354 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:49,079 Yes, in a sense. 355 00:19:49,080 --> 00:19:52,080 Olly might be doing something with the diaries I don't know about because he hasn't told me. 356 00:19:55,040 --> 00:19:58,040 Well, you get him to undo what you don't know he's doing. 357 00:19:58,080 --> 00:20:01,080 - I can't. I don't know he's doing it. - Hugh, go and get Olly and Glenn in here. 358 00:20:02,440 --> 00:20:05,440 This is serious. You have lied to a Select Committee. 359 00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,159 - I told you that. - That's like lying to the House. 360 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:10,799 - That's what I said. - They're on to you! 361 00:20:10,800 --> 00:20:12,679 - Yes! - Jesus Christ! 362 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,680 - Malcolm, do you think this is too bright? - It's too bright. 363 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:19,040 Can you please, Robyn, go to the Sketchley concession and get my grey suit? Now. 364 00:20:20,440 --> 00:20:23,440 Do I look ten? Do I look like I'm on some bloody... 365 00:20:23,480 --> 00:20:26,480 Please, just do it. Get the suit. 366 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:29,719 - Can I have the money? - Don't you get paid? 367 00:20:29,720 --> 00:20:30,799 Have you got the diaries? 368 00:20:30,800 --> 00:20:32,279 - Yes. - I don't know. 369 00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,280 - We've not shredded anything. - I don't want to hear this. 370 00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:38,760 Hugh, take your fingers out ofyour fucking ears. 371 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:41,800 You're going to go to the Committee tomorrow and you're going to apologise. 372 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,920 I'll tell them I forgot. Forgetting's an involuntary thing. It's like farting. 373 00:20:48,720 --> 00:20:50,919 Malcolm! 374 00:20:50,920 --> 00:20:53,920 - What? - You were meant to be dealing with me. 375 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:57,480 The worst that can happen to you is you'll lose your job. 376 00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:00,119 - I'm going to lose my reputation. - Oh, just grow up. 377 00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:03,120 - You should be doing the growing up. - I am a fucking grown-up. 378 00:21:03,280 --> 00:21:06,280 - You could have fooled me! - Glenn's son could have fooled you. 379 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:07,959 No offence, Glenn. 380 00:21:07,960 --> 00:21:10,960 You two get the paper trail sorted and get your story sorted out. 381 00:21:11,280 --> 00:21:13,319 I'm sorry, can you stop swearing? 382 00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:16,320 I'm really sorry. You won't hear any more swearing from us, you massive, gay shite! 383 00:21:19,280 --> 00:21:22,119 Fuck off! 384 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:25,120 Right, how are you doing in sorting out whether he lied or not? 385 00:21:26,320 --> 00:21:28,159 - Pretty well. - Is that a lie? 386 00:21:28,160 --> 00:21:30,919 - Yeah. - That is not fucking funny, you retard. 387 00:21:30,920 --> 00:21:33,759 I'm sorry about that, Glenn. The situation just... 388 00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:36,760 Here she comes. 389 00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:43,439 That fucking sofa! 390 00:21:43,440 --> 00:21:46,440 I would like to offer mysincere and unreserved apologies 391 00:21:47,760 --> 00:21:50,760 for the terrible outrage caused by the e-mail that I sent. 392 00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:54,400 It was never meant to be read by anybody other than the intended recipient. 393 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:00,399 - I understand that the... - Oh, for... 394 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,519 - What the hell's he... - Twat! 395 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:04,559 .. language I used in the e-mail... 396 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:07,560 He doesn't realise that ifyou walk in front ofthe camera... 397 00:22:07,800 --> 00:22:10,800 .. like that in an internal departmental conversation, 398 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,079 or any conversation. 399 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,080 I wish I had neversent the e-mail, 400 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,600 and indeed, I find it hard to believe that I did. 401 00:22:19,760 --> 00:22:22,039 Whoa, she's gone offscript here. 402 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,479 Fucking hell, Terri, what...? 403 00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:27,480 .. momentarylapse in restraint... and that... 404 00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:32,279 - OK, we're back on track. - Thank God. 405 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,280 .. and I wish to apologise that I've let down 406 00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:39,000 the electorate, the minister, my colleagues, 407 00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:44,120 - my own family... - Even though halfofthem are dead. 408 00:22:44,520 --> 00:22:46,999 .. and indeed, the voters ofthe future... 409 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,799 - Our children. - .. our children. 410 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:50,319 Now get off. 411 00:22:50,320 --> 00:22:53,320 Brilliant, Malcolm. Fucking stunning. Well done, mate. 412 00:22:54,960 --> 00:22:57,960 OK, we've got to get upstairs and start rehearsing for tomorrow's Select Committee. 413 00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:02,640 I'm never going to get out of this fucking building, am I? 414 00:23:03,800 --> 00:23:06,800 Do you remember when I came to see Peter's concert at his school? 415 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,160 His face? The pride he had when he played? 416 00:23:10,840 --> 00:23:13,479 - His face etched in my memory. - Yeah? 417 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:15,119 Fucking unbearable. 418 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:18,120 That's why I needed Malcolm's expert to try and wipe it from my mind. 419 00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:22,320 - It hasn't really worked, though. - Hugh, mate, don't panic. 420 00:23:22,920 --> 00:23:25,920 You'll manage. Just do what you have to do. Whatever you have to do, do it. 421 00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:30,360 Just make sure that you don't get sweat on your upper lip. It makes you look guilty. 422 00:23:31,640 --> 00:23:33,799 - What am I supposed to do? - I've no idea. 423 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,800 But ifyou sweat, it makes your face look like Spam. 424 00:23:37,160 --> 00:23:40,160 It has come to the Committee's notice that you did not see just one special adviser, 425 00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:45,240 as you told us in your previous appearance, but two. 426 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:49,159 Why did you omit to mention that fact? 427 00:23:49,160 --> 00:23:52,160 Yes, I apologise unreservedly for that oversight. 428 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,160 - I forgot. - Are you forgetful generally? 429 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:59,480 Well, it's hard to know... erm... how forgetful one is. 430 00:24:01,080 --> 00:24:04,080 You'd have to remember all the things you'd remembered and forgotten. 431 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,239 And how could I remember what I've forgotten, 432 00:24:08,240 --> 00:24:10,679 because I've forgotten it by definition? 433 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:13,680 I'm pretty good. IfI see a picture ofthe Queen, I can put a name to a face. 434 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,520 And ifI see a movie, I don't sit there, going, "Who's that one? The copper or the pirate?" 435 00:24:20,680 --> 00:24:23,680 So you just accidentally told a slight untruth? 436 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,000 I... My statement was unintentionally not a truthful statement. 437 00:24:29,160 --> 00:24:32,160 - I... I... I slightly misled... - You completely misled. 438 00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:35,520 I misled the Committee and I have apologised for that. 439 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:38,519 Are you lying now about not lying before? 440 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:41,520 Erm... no. I am not a liar. 441 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:44,560 I categorically did not knowingly... not tell the truth. 442 00:24:46,560 --> 00:24:49,560 Even though unknowingly I might not have done. 443 00:24:50,520 --> 00:24:53,520 In fact, I wanted to come back and apologise to the Committee... 444 00:24:53,720 --> 00:24:56,720 Glad to be ofservice, but you didn't want to come back, Minister. 445 00:24:57,040 --> 00:24:59,279 You were told to come back. 446 00:24:59,280 --> 00:25:02,280 The last thing in the world you wanted was to come back, given how busy you have been. 447 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:07,640 Interestingly enough, we do notice from your diaries that your meeting with Roy Smedley 448 00:25:10,040 --> 00:25:13,040 seems to have taken place at almost the same time as the notorious sweary e-mail was sent. 449 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:18,480 And I was in that meeting, so I couldn't possibly have sent it. 450 00:25:19,240 --> 00:25:22,240 I wasn't suggesting... It was your ChiefPress Officer. 451 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:25,159 Yes, it was. And her father's just died. 452 00:25:25,160 --> 00:25:27,679 I'm sorry to hear that. No one was suggesting... 453 00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,680 No, no, and quite right, too. But you know what people are like. 454 00:25:31,280 --> 00:25:33,999 Going back to my, erm... initial concern, 455 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,000 it would now seem that the two meetings you had with the two special education advisers 456 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:42,440 provided you with two opposing verdicts on this particular issue. 457 00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:44,519 Yet you came up with one. 458 00:25:44,520 --> 00:25:47,520 So would it be therefore true to say that the Government is intent on pushing this through 459 00:25:49,560 --> 00:25:52,119 regardless ofwhat anyone says? 460 00:25:52,120 --> 00:25:55,120 No. We wanted two opinions because we wanted to start a debate. 461 00:25:56,160 --> 00:25:59,160 Not much ofa debate ifyou ignore one and just go with the other. 462 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:02,360 It's a personal thing, but ifgovernment isn't personal, then what the hell is it? 463 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,560 My senior adviser, Glenn Cullen, 464 00:26:07,720 --> 00:26:10,720 has a son, his name is Peter, 465 00:26:11,640 --> 00:26:14,640 and he has special educational needs. 466 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:18,160 Glenn obviously wouldn't say anything about it. He's far too professional. 467 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:22,080 But I had the privilege ofgoing down with Glenn to Peter's SEN school, 468 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:28,760 and watched Peter playing the trombone in the school orchestra. 469 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,559 It wasn't very good. 470 00:26:33,560 --> 00:26:36,560 Erm... He struggled manfully. 471 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:40,000 And Glenn leaned over to me, and he said, 472 00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:43,560 you know, "Ifonly this was a Super School. " 473 00:26:44,280 --> 00:26:47,279 Inclusion is not an illusion. 474 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:49,039 And... 475 00:26:49,040 --> 00:26:51,639 I think that tipped the balance for me. 476 00:26:51,640 --> 00:26:54,640 It's a personal thing. 477 00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,359 - Say something. - Well, what is to say? 478 00:27:06,360 --> 00:27:09,360 - I can't believe you did that. - You said do what you have to do. 479 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:12,879 I know. I understand that, and I know nothing is sacred. 480 00:27:12,880 --> 00:27:15,880 - But I didn't mean for you to do that. - Were you misleading me? 481 00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:20,080 - Don't give me that bollocks. - I... I'm sorry. OK? I'm really sorry. 482 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,439 Do you know, I wish I'd kept Peter's trombone. 483 00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:28,440 IfI had, I'd shove it up your arse, wide end first. 484 00:27:29,120 --> 00:27:32,120 Listen, you're the best senior adviser anybody could want, and... 485 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:36,079 Come on, you're my best pal. 486 00:27:36,080 --> 00:27:39,080 - OK. - So, am I...? 487 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:47,360 Hello. Are you all right? 488 00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,879 Very strong performance, by the way, the apology. 489 00:27:50,880 --> 00:27:53,879 So you think you can get round me with compliments, do you? 490 00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,879 I understand I'm not your favourite chocolate in the box, 491 00:27:56,880 --> 00:27:59,880 but I appreciate everything, and I will fight for you, irrespective ofwhat you did. 492 00:28:01,960 --> 00:28:04,960 What I did? I didn't do it, Hugh! Do you remember? You sent the e-mail! 493 00:28:06,880 --> 00:28:08,319 - I forgot. - Forgot? 494 00:28:08,320 --> 00:28:11,320 No, not forgot. I can't get anything right at the moment. I'm going to go away. 495 00:28:12,280 --> 00:28:15,280 Go to the gents. Look at the man standing in front ofyou in the mirror, 496 00:28:16,640 --> 00:28:19,640 and say, "Can I live with him? Can I?" 497 00:28:19,880 --> 00:28:22,279 - You're in there. - I don't know what else can go wrong. 498 00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:25,280 Unless the energy system sets fire to my office and puts it out 499 00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,279 by squirting liquefied shit through the sprinklers. 500 00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,639 - Malcolm's coming this way. - Oh, God. 501 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:33,640 Check out. Malcolm Tucker is leaving the building. 502 00:28:34,680 --> 00:28:37,680 - Oh, right. - I want to say well done, you slippery fuck. 503 00:28:38,880 --> 00:28:41,880 You should be able to weasel your way out and come back smelling like a perfumed trollop. 504 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,359 - Thank you. - No problem. 505 00:28:44,360 --> 00:28:47,360 Hey, I'm going to have a swear box installed on Monday, by the way. 506 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:50,559 - What? - Fucking joking, you twat. 507 00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:51,839 Right. 508 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,879 - I'm in turbo. Laters. - Yeah. 509 00:28:53,880 --> 00:28:56,079 Oi! How're you doing?